Thursday, June 19, 2014

A Birthday and A Journey with Princess

When we 1st saw Princess on the Special Home Find list she was 6 years old.  Now she has turned 11!

(Photo stolen from my mom- thanks mom!)

 She will be a teen in 2 years.  YIKES!

I came across an update on a story that was back from 2009 about an extremely neglected girl in the U.S. who was eventually rescued and adopted.  It was featured on Oprah.  I never saw the original show or ever heard the story. Till now.

If you want to know our story then watch click   HERE   and watch the video.  

THEIR story is OUR story. 

 I was blown away.  I have never ever run into a child that has been so similar to Princess nor a family who we could so closely identify with.

Was this girl born with some of the issues? Possibly.  Was some of it caused by her severe neglect?  Absolutely.  The affects of such neglect on the developing brain of a child is extremely profound.

 ( read The Boy Who was Raised as a Dog for more info on this.  Also Parenting the Hurt Child is excellent)

Praise God the food issues for Princess have subsided tremendously compared to this family.  It has to do with trust.  She trusts that we will feed her.  That trust was not always there and for good reason given her past( for those that don't know, Princess weighed just 12 lbs at the age of 3).

The girl in the video was older than when Princess was rescued so the girl had more years of the psychological impact of not having enough to eat. It is no wonder she has not healed yet from it and likely ever will.

But we still have food issues and Princess will still eat till she throws up if we don't keep a close eye on her.  If Princess is feeling insecure and that things are out of her control she will have food meltdowns.  It's kind of panic mode.  Food=Love to her.  I know people say this( the way to my heart is through my stomach) but you have no idea the very realness of that statement for our daughter and those that have experienced near starvation like her.

I wanted to scream,"YES! YES! YES!"  at the point in the video where the dad talks about his daughter's progression and what others might think.  My goals for Princess are EXACTLY the same as he states for his daughter.  I hate when people belittle Princess's progress because it's not what they think she should be doing.  I am offended for my daughter and the long way she has come in her journey.

Seriously, though, just sub out our faces in the video and you wouldn't even have to edit any of the dialogue or interviews.  It is OUR story.

I hope it can give you a glimpse into our world with Princess.

Many Blessings,
The Mama 

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Ultrasound Results

The Baby is Fine!!

In case you are ultrasound challenged:

  That's the baby's face profile and arm and hand. 
You can see some of it's leg and foot at the bottom.

Isn't that the cutest little nose??

Many Blessings,
The Mama

No Heartbeat

I had an OB appt yesterday.  I was 13 weeks 3 days.  I have been feeling good, the sickness is almost gone but I am just completely exhausted now.

But the Dr couldn't find the baby's heartbeat. He tried for quite awhile to no avail.  So he set up a Hold and Call U/S.  Which is that after the U/S I stay there till the results are in and they phone the Dr.  I suppose if it was bad news the Dr might come in or I would go see him even.

My appt was at 2:20 and at 3pm the receptionist was calling over to schedule the U/S which ended up not being able to be done till 4:45.

I really wasn't nervous at this point.  I was more excited to get another U/S.  I had had no signs of miscarriage.  Although, I am aware that sometimes a miscarriage will start happen after an U/S confirms that the baby died.  So didn't feel totally out of the woods, but fairly confident.

So we arrive for my U/S at 4:45 and were told that the U/S tech called 20 minutes ago to say that there had been an accident and she had gotten tied up in but was about 30 minutes away.

More waiting.  

Time is not my friend.  The more I have time to think about things, the more worked up I get.  So I was feeling much more nervous at this point and just wanted to know-kind of.

Plus my bladder was screaming to use the bathroom from the massive amounts of water they make you drink before an U/S.

At 5:30 the receptionist comes over to say the tech called in and was still sitting in traffic with no signs of it moving.

We could either just wait till the tech eventually showed up, which could be hours given the info that was coming in on the accident( sounded like a pile up) or we could reschedule for tomorrow morning( today).

Neither choice sounded good.

We were also told that the 2 other U/S techs had been contacted to come in but they were "in a meeting" apparently learning a new system.

Ok, the U/S tech stuck in traffic can't help that.  But 2 other techs were simply in a meeting and neither could come to tell me if my child was alive or not?!!  This really irritated me. It was clear by my orders from the Dr. with it being a hold and call that this was important.  And it said on my papers it was for an absent fetal heartbeat.

And then the receptionist says that morning is pretty full we will have to do it later.

Seriously?  There is no one that can be bumped so I can get in sooner since I already have to wait overnight?

I found it so uncaring and callous.  And don't worry, I will be letting the hospital know of my experience.

So we made the appt for 1pm and left.   Which they ended up calling and changing to 12pm anyhow.  I am glad it is earlier, but I don't think it had anything to do with helping me.  It has to do with helping them with their schedule.

So, today at 12 I will have my U/S.

We went to an awesome talent show last night that a friend of ours was in.  It was all Christian music and it did my worried soul good.  By time it was over I was at peace.

I am still feeling good this morning and while there is a tinge of "what if" in my head, I am more excited to see the baby and maybe, just maybe, find out the gender =)

I would still love prayers because it never hurts.  I will be sure to update when we get home today.

Many Blessings,
The Mama