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Friday, April 25, 2014
The Sex Talk from a Christian Perspective
Every year when one of our children turn 10, we take them for a special night away-just them and us(parents). We bring games, swim if we are around a pool or lake, go out to eat, watch movies, etc. But during this time we also let them know that they are are old enough now to talk about some grown up stuff and how God made men and women special.
The 1st book is for both boys and girls. The 2nd book comes out in editions for a boy or a girl( and also age groups).
We start the night by reading the chapter 'Male+Female+God's Gift of Life=Baby!' out of "How You Are Changing."
And we let the child know that they can ask questions at anytime and any kind of question. This 1st chapter is enough to get their minds reeling( You and dad did THAT?!). Especially awkward when you are currently pregnant. So after that we head out to eat. We have normal conversation over dinner but we do ask if they have thought of any questions about what we read. Please advise your children to speak quietly! lol We learned this the hard way.
Then we head back and play games or swim or watch a movie. We read a few chapters out of Why God Cares About Sex book before bed. This book has parts(Dad, Mom, Child) so everyone takes a roll. Helps keep the child engaged too. I was worried about books being too harsh on subjects( like abortion, homosexuality, AIDS, sex outside of marriage, sexual abuse, etc). We teach love above all else so wanted that to come through. I found this book to approach the issues beautifully and leads to great discussion and different views on the subjects are addressed well.
We get up the next day and do some fun stuff and finish the book( easy read). We talk and answer questions as the come. And we always tell our older children not to speak of this issue with their younger siblings, that way the younger kids can have their own special get away and to be sure they are old enough to understand the information.
We give them the book "How Your Are Changing" to read the rest on their own. If it is a girl you are talking with, we do make sure to hit the chapter about menstruating too during our get away.
This approach has worked marvelously every time and really gets the lines of communication and expectation open at an early age( before they hear too much from their peers).
And each child is so excited about their special time with mom and dad. It doesn't have to cost a lot of money to get away either. Previously we used my in-laws lake house and just went out for pizza. The main point is for you to get away privately with your child, doesn't matter where. Maybe if your parents are watching your other kids, just go to their house for the night. Or camp out perhaps.
This way really took the fear out the sex talk for the Hubby and I and wasn't nearly as awkward for the child. Hope this approach works for you too!