Saturday, March 9, 2013

The Disturbing 'One Down" Mommy Trend

I have noticed a concerning trend among mom's.  I think it tends to happen more with stay at home mom's based on my experience.

We all know, and maybe have been, that parent that tries to 'one up' other mom's.  Their kids are the best, their life is the best, yada yada.  We are all familiar with that syndrome.

But here is the one I am talking about.  Mom's who try to one up each other on how BAD their life is.  Perhaps it's more how busy or stressful their life is.  Strange right?  I know.

I actually got sucked into this for awhile.  And I am usually( not always) a positive person.

Here is how it gets started:

Me to Sally Joe,"How was your day?"

Sally Joe,"Oh my gosh!  What a day!  I had 27 appts. to run the kids to today, the dog puked all over the car 6 times, little Billy had practice across town from where i had to go to the dry cleaner, and i still have to bake 100 cupcakes for the bake sale tomorrow."

Mary Jane who was listening in on the conversation joins in,"Yeah I had 28 appts today, 3 kids that had to be at the same place at the same time and 101 cupcakes to make.  I am exhausted."

Ok we have all had those CRAZY hectic days and there is nothing wrong with saying so. But then there is this need among the rest in the group to justify that they had just as busy/crappy days.  

So you are kind of trying to 'one down' everyone else.

I got sucked in through a need to say, "You know what, my life is just as crazy as yours.  You aren't the only one sista."

As I said, I have found more stay at home mom's doing this then working moms it seems.  Perhaps us SAHM feel the need to justify that we aren't just sitting around eating bon-bons all day?? Maybe it is done for sympathy?  Maybe it is a need for attention, a cry for help? Maybe it's a victim mentality? Maybe it makes them feel more valuable that they are doing so much, even though they complain about it?  Perhaps it is a way of boasting?

Not sure.  My guess is a combo of guess #1 and the last couple.

But then I got to a point where it seemed like I was always being negative and complaining.  You know how I realized that?  I heard my words coming from my children. 

 Ouch.  Reality check in aisle 4 please.

I did not like what I heard.  

I had to stop and say,"What has happened to me?  Where is the person who use to be positive and upbeat?"

That is when I saw this horrible trend that was happening among the mommy world.  I had to make a conscious effort to say to myself, " I am not going to get sucked into that again. I can say that I had a good day and not feel somehow inferior in a twisted way."

So here it is ladies-


For the most part we choose how busy our lives are(John Boy doesn't have to be in 10 sports this year).  We also choose our mentality in life.  What are you going to choose?  

I am choosing to be thankful that I am healthy enough to run around town.  I choosing to be thankful for my kids and all the craziness that they bring to my life. They will all be grown up and out of the house soon so I am going to savor these moments as much as possible.  I am going to try to look on the bright side of things. 

We have 3 verses in our house that we have committed to memory.

 "Be joyful always."  1 Thessalonians 5:16
"Do everything with out complaining or arguing." Philippians 2:14
"Work with enthusiasm, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people." Ephesians 6:7

They all seem to tie in together for me.  We even have the last 2 on our chore lists!  But it's something we all need to remember in all aspects of our lives.  I know I am going to try to from here on out.  We are blessed beyond measure and we need to be sure to remember that daily!

Many Blessings,
The Mama

No comments:

Post a Comment